AVanBoeningMHT...No More! (#305 and #306 on the life list:)

Hello, internet.  Its me, Allison.  Remember me?


Yep.  You recognize me with a martini, right?  Well, I have a lot of words for you.  Its my last night of being an employee of the hospital.  My last night of being someone else's employee, period!  I'm kind of a mess.  Let me elaborate, as you must be bored, if you are reading my blog.  First of all, I'm downright sad to be leaving the hospital.  Much as I can't stand the way our program is being run these days, I have always had such good, close friendships with a good chunk of my coworkers.  I'm not sure if its the fact that we work in mental health and therefor have similar personalities or sense of humors or what but I have formed some really great friendships here.  This has been my employment home since I graduated from college.  Eleven years.  That's one third of my life thus far.  For about 8 of those years, I came here for more than 40 hours a week.  I got attached.

Aside from missing my current coworkers, I'm really going to miss the kids.  Its a pretty rare opportunity that we have in our program, to spend time with kids who are in crisis.  Since I started working mostly night shifts, I haven't spent a ton of time with the kids and I miss them.  It will be so strange not to have that connection to youth any longer.  I have to say also, that doing this job felt sometimes like I was actually making a difference.  Obviously I got paid, its not like I was volunteering.  And more often than not, the kids don't seem to visibly take much stock in what we say, but there were those rare moments that I saw kids improve and learn and smile and laugh because of something that our team of people did and that just kind of gives a different meaning to a job than just being the place that signs your paychecks.  Our cleaning job is hugely rewarding as well, but its for much different reasons.

And the biggest question of the night...AM I MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE?!?  I think I've said before how much I hate grown up stuff, like retirement funds, insurance anythings, blah blah blah.  I might be the most immature 33 year old that exists.  But when you work for a company big enough to take care of most of those things for you, it doesn't really matter how immature you are.  When you ARE the business owner, you have to start figuring those things out.  You have to learn about IRAs and mutual funds and The Affordable Care Act and, like, budgeting.  GROSS!!!  Can we please just go drink martinis???  Somewhere in my brain, I just always assumed I would have the hospital job to fall back on, if cleaning didn't work out or didn't quite pay the bills.  Or heaven forbid, I get injured.  I mean, my business largely depends on my physical health!  Poop!

Now that I have deep breathed my way through my 43rd panic attack of the last 24 hours, maybe I should focus on what is good here...I will have more time for my family and friends.  There will be no more scheduling around my night shifts for a family or social life.  Or holidays.  I have worked at jobs since about 1997  that have required me to work holidays.  It will be so awesome not to have to miss out on festivities because of work any more.
I will have more weekdays on which to clean.  I am freeing up 6 weekdays per month for cleaning and that is pretty huge, considering how much Tosha and I can get done in a day.  Hopefully more time for us to work on the side of our business that we currently neglect like marketing, paperwork, other grown up things.  I think I am rubbing off on her in the area of immaturity:)
I can sleep like a normal person.  The girls that I work nights with and I have had many a conversation about how NO MATTER WHAT, your sleep is never good enough when you work nights.  And most of the time, you only allow yourself a few hours of the crappy sleep and that is just so bad for your health.  So bad.  I am certain that an improved level of health and energy will come along with my new schedule, which leads to so many other positive changes like more exercise, more cooking, less snaking on junk food just to stay awake.

While I know that this is a very good decision and the natural progression of things for my business/career, I am nervous about the next few months.  I need to buy a new car and its been years since I have had a car payment.  I have never before had to make health insurance payments.  Its the winter months, so Brad's paychecks are leaner than they are when the weather is nice.  I may have to drink fewer martinis.  They are expensive.  But I am thankful.  I also need to thank my little family for allowing me to participate in my own little experiment of being solely a business owner.  Well, I go back and forth between wanting to thank them, and wanting to take Brad by the shoulders and shake him really hard and scream, "Don't trust me to do this!  We will be homeless by June! Who allows their wife to quit her job when they need a new roof???"  If I did, I'm sure he would just calmly tell me, as usual, that it will all figure itself out and be fine.  

Brad and I had dinner at Jack and June a few weeks ago before we went to Catching Fire (which was an AWESOME movie).  This is my food.  Maybe its lame to take pictures of your food, but this was a caramelized onion grilled cheese and roasted Brussels sprouts and soft pretzels with blue cheese dipping sauce.  So there.

  In case you're curious about how "Obamacare" is affecting my insurance shopping experience (and since I can't ever resist giving my completely uninformed political opinions), I will say that it seemed shaky at first.  There was not a singe insurance agent who could give us any information for a few months.  And the quotes I got seemed high with very high deductibles.  It was frustrating, but I had a feeling it wouldn't be left at that.  And low and behold, I spoke with my agent just the other day and she said we needed to meet asap, as provisions were being made, policies were getting cheaper, deductibles lower and so on and so forth.  I also had to remind myself that up to this point in my life, my insurance has always just seemed free to me.  It comes out of my paycheck before it ever reaches my pocket and in my limited little brain, that means its free.  I am very confident that The Affordable Care Act will undergo enough revision and tweaking that it will do what it was intended to do, and have little more than the normal rate increase impact on folks who already have insurance by the time all is said and done.  I will be the first to admit it if I'm wrong though.  I do really think we need to give it a year or so and see how things are in 2015.  Rome wasn't built in a day, kids.

Bored, bored, bored

No real point to the picture, except that I freaking love it.  That's right. I said it.  I like something that I created, even if its just a photograph.  And any part of it that appears creative actually comes from Afterlight.  But whatever.  I'm in a mood.

I've been at work all night.  This isn't weird.  I work 2 nights a week.  Normally I either have a coworker who is TOO enjoyable that I can chat with all night, or enough with me to read to keep me busy.  Or there's always Pinterest.  I exhausted Pinterest.  I finished my book. (The Great Gatsby.  Somehow, I missed reading this book all through high school and college.  It was fine.  I dunno.  I was much more excited about the previous 3 books I read: Let the Great World Spin, Help Thanks Wow, and A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.)  And the lady I'm working with is perfectly lovely, but we just haven't clicked.  I mean, we've never drawn one another pictures of butt holes in bags, or slow danced, or watched Miley Cyrus videos together.  Maybe we'll get there someday, but someday isn't tonight and I'm bored.  Plus its my birthday weekend, so I'm feeling extra reflective.  Not like you would want to wear me on a night bike ride, but just maybe thoughtful.  Its been a rough couple of weeks.  I've said it before and I won't quit saying it, even to newly married/engaged friends.  Marriage is hard.  Its another full time job.  Honestly, I think its the hardest thing.  For me, anyway.  But we're still pluggin' away and I'm going to try to stop being a lazy, easily irritated spouse.  Either that or just start drinking more.

I wonder what my 33rd year will have in store for me...I can't stop looking at profiles of pit bulls on the Humane Society website.  And mastiffs.  And labs.  Maybe a new dog?!?  We still haven't paid our taxes, so maybe a visit from the IRS?  Just kidding, I don't think they would waste their time with us, but it does raise my blood pressure a bit.  For real, I went in to donate blood on Wednesday and they told me my blood pressure was too low and they gave me a few minutes before they retook it, all I had to do was think about the damn taxes and whaddaya know.  Up it went!  Hoping for maybe a long weekend vacation, even if its just to Johnson's Lake or Mahoney.  I need a few days of nature and fresh air and minimal technology/interactions with other humans.  I need a girls' trip, as well.  One that is a little less nature-oriented maybe.  (Maaaayyybe one that involves a city with an IKEA.  Hint hint.  Wink wink.  Coughamynebesniakimhintingthatireallywantyoutoplanatripcough.) Who knows what will happen!  I'll get a little older, there will be surprises.  That's what is both great and horrible about life, right?!?  For now, I DO know that I have a birthday weekend to look forward to and it starts in just a few hours.  And it starts with a bachelorette party for one of my favorite people.  So, cheers to being 32 for one more day:)

Pics from my mom's bday a few weeks ago:)

Willa is 4. F.O.U.R. Seriously.

I'm not going to lie, I turned into a weepy, blubbering mess at the end of this long birthday weekend.  And all because my little monster is 4 now and is turning into such a pretty, grown-up, monster.  I've said it before, but how on earth is she so pretty?  I ask her that about every other day.  And she just says "Moooo-ooom."  (Imagine that is a voice just like a whiny teenager.  Because that is what she sounds like all the time now.)  One day a few weeks ago, we were sitting on the couch together and she crawled in my lap for a little lovin.  I asked her what I was going to do when she was too big for me to hold her like that anymore and she said, "I will still sit by you and hold your hand."  I fought back tears that day, too.  What a great 4 years it has been, getting to know Willa.  If you are curious, she is really into singing these days, the movie Pitch Perfect is just about her favorite thing, she is awesome at puzzles, she knows her right from her left (thanks to Uncle Chris), she can quote movie lines like nobody's business, she likes hamburgers but not cheeseburgers, and she would love for us to get a big dog.  Oh, and she usually farts first thing when she wakes up in the morning, then giggles and tells me that she is just farting out the rest of her sleep.  Just when I start to wonder whose kid she really might be, she proves that we are, in fact, related.

And now, some pictures from all the fun...

Prepping for the outdoor movie

Brad figured out a fancy-schmancy way to play a movie outside on a screen that he constructed.  So, we had a gaggle of Willa's friends over...late...and fed them a bunch of candy and pop and gave them face paint and silly string and glow sticks and then had them watch Wreck-It-Ralph and then sent them home...late...with their parents.  Your welcome, parents.  It was fun.

On Sunday, the day of the actual birthday, we gave Willa a trampoline and some tiny cupcakes.  I consider buying a giant trampoline a mark of my adulthood.  I wanted one for our yard SO BAD so I made the executive decision that Willa would get one for her birthday.  It was either that, or a big dog, and I'm not quite ready for another pet.  I...I mean, WE, are in love with the trampoline.  And don't worry, we put the safety netting up after these pictures were taken.  Willa just kept telling us "safety first, guys."  She is a much more confident bouncer with the net up.

The Monday following the birthday, we slept in, and then took a trip to Grand Island to visit Grandma Van Boening, Great Grandma Christensen, and Island Oasis Waterpark.  I figured it was about time to introduce Willa to the place that shaped her mother's young adult years.  We had a great time at the water park.  And I am proud to say that in the absence of the '95-'02 crew, the I.O. still seemed to be running smoothly and very well maintained.  And, all the lifeguards appeared to be no older than 13.  

That was Willa's 4th birthday, in a nutshell.  She has yet to receive a pet snake.  She is ok with that.  Her Uncle Chris promised to buy her a snake for her birthday.  It drove her nuts when he would talk about it.  One day, he asked her what she was going to name her pet snake and her response was, "Knife.  Because that is what I'm going to kill it with."  Hmmmmmm.   

Pretty soon, no one will want to eat with me. Or...is gluten a fad like French rolling our jeans?

I am fascinated with learning about food and nutrition.  Its weird.  Its like, the only thing that I enjoy learning. Back when I was in school, I loved learning and reading and studying.  I wasn't all that good at it, but I liked it.  Now?  It takes me months to read a book.  Even if I'm really enjoying it, it takes ages.  UNLESS, it happens to be a book about vegan diets or a cookbook, or a blog about healthy eating.  For some reason, I can read that stuff like crazy and actually retain some of the information.  I think that might be my biggest frustration these days as far as reading/learning goes, is my lack of ability to retain things.  Perfect example, a coworker just tonight was reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.  I read that book, within the last 6 months and watched the movie and read the other books in the series and enjoyed them.  But she started asking me questions about it, and I couldn't remember a darn thing outside of the very basic plot.  That's pretty pathetic.  But ask me about spirulina or maca powder or some other weird super food, and I remember stuff!  So, that being said, I decided that maybe I could take my (slight) obsession with learning about food, and use it to combat some of my physical complaints and signs of aging.  I am already a vegetarian.  Actually, I'm a pescetarian, as I do eat seafood, but I don't think that is a very commonly used term.  I have toyed with the idea of being vegan, but I really like seafood and cheese. And eggs are just so darn easy.  I have completely given up cow's milk.  It actually kind of makes me queasy to think about.  At our house we have either almond or coconut milk, whichever happens to be a tad bit cheaper at whichever grocery store I am at.  At coffee shops, its soy.  And actually, soy milk is usually cheaper than the other milk alternatives, but I feel like its a tricky food that I just don't want to overdo.  I have read that soybeans are pretty highly pesticized, so its preferable for the soy milk to be organic.  Then there's also something wacky with soy and estrogen.  So, I just don't really buy it to put on my cereal but it doesn't weird me out to have a little in my coffee every once in a while. I don't buy butter anymore either, but rather the soy-free Earth Balance spread.  You honestly can't tell a difference (except in the price.)  So I guess my main weaknesses are seafood, eggs, and cheese.
If you've known me for very long, like 15 minutes or longer, you probably know that I have digestive issues. I'll try not to go into it, in case you're eating right now, or ever want to eat again, but lets just say that I am not "regular."  I have been known to go for weeks without any "action" or "movement."  For the longest time, I thought this was normal, until I started talking about it.  You really aren't supposed to be bloated and crampy all the time!  Crazy!  You're supposed to poop!  Daily!  You aren't supposed to have to over compensate and give yourself the opposite kinds of problems with laxatives and gross, fake fiber drinks!  I also have issues with seasonal allergies, and low levels of energy.  So, I started doing some research on how my diet could be affecting these issues, and I decided to do a week of eating without gluten and minimal dairy.  BIG SHOCKER...I felt so good that week!  Now, I realize that just the mere act of thinking about every food choice and eating so healthily was probably the main reason, however, I have decided to try to make as many of my meals as possible, gluten-free.  Technically, it IS possible to not eat gluten at all ever.  People with Celiac's Disease have to do it every day of their lives.  It is also very possible to eat a completely gluten-free diet, and still not be eating very well.  If you look hard enough, and are willing to spend enough money, you can get a gluten-free version of any wheaty product that you are craving.  You could live off of muffins and pasta and cookies even on a gluten-free diet.  Just not a very good idea.
So, since I really enjoyed the huge amounts of energy that I experienced in all my little bouts of giving up the (apparently) evil gluten, I'm going to keep it up.  Its not a true allergy, so I certainly will still indulge in a few meals here and there, like veggie burgers or normal pizza or just having dinner cooked by someone else without them having to go through my weird checklist of sensitivities or moral dilemmas.  But I will do so knowing that I am going to wake up a little bit more tired and with a little bit of a headache and a mildly puffy stomach.  Honestly, I think that everyone would experience some level of health benefits by avoiding gluten and dairy.  Its just so inconvenient.  We'll see how it goes for me.  And don't worry, I'll let you know.

A million and one things I want to do before...

I'm going to blame my new obsession with all things "Bucket Listy" on the other fun blogs that I read.  (Like Amy's 1,000 things to do this year, and brooke's 101 Goals in 1,001 Days)  But maybe, deep down, I feel a clock ticking.  I want to do big, big things.  Things that will take time to work up to, to train for, to save for, to build...And now, after Grandpa's death, its just about all I can think of.  My Grandpa had such a full life!  He did so many different jobs, met so many people, traveled the world.  So I am going to start keeping a list of all the stuff I'd like to accomplish, and then maybe talk about each one, as I do them.  Some of the things are just normal, everyday things but maybe its important to me to do them a whole bunch.  Some of the things are huge and expensive and will take a long time to accomplish.  I hesitate to call this a goal list, as I don't really have a timeline in mind.  Its more just a list of stuff that I think is neat and I really, really have a desire to do.  Since I started writing things down a few weeks ago in a special little notebook, I think I have added a few things nearly every day, as they have popped into my head.  I am going to share them all with you, in the hopes of being accountable to my list, and also just in case someone wants to help me out with any of them!  You know, like "donating" a trip to Holland?  Or maybe just making a date to donate blood together and then have coffee:)

Bare with my list.  It started out in catagories, but my brain and my fingers both started working fast and the catagories got lost.  Also, it is just implied that I want to do these things with my family, unless otherwise stated.

1.  See Mt. Rushmore and camp in South Dakota
2.  Hike in Rocky Mountain National Park
3. Take a wine tasting trip to No. California with girlfriends/girl cousins
4. Visit Washington D.C.
5-7.  Visit 3 West Coast beaches
8-10. Visit 3 East Coast beaches
11-13  Visit New York City 3 times: Once to run the marathon, once with family, and once on an artsy girly trip
14. Visit Connecticut
15. Go to another Hawaiian Island
16. Italy
17. Bali
18. the Maldives- or somewhere that has those huts on the water
19. Thailand
20. Canada
21. See the tulips in Amsterdam
22. Hike in the Swiss Alps
23. New Zealand
24. See the Grand Canyon
25-27. Take 3 spontaneous trips with others
28. Trip with my entire family to Estes Park, all together in a big cabin
29. Camp at the Great Lakes
30. Run the full Lincoln Marathon
31. Run the Chicago Marathon
32. Run the NY Marathon
33. Qualify for the Boston Marathon
34. Run the Boston Marathon
35. Run an Ultra Marathon
36. Have visible abs
37. Do a pull-up
38. Get into a regular yoga practice, at a studio
39. Master inversion poses
40. Meditate daily
41. Be capable of at least 25 military-style push ups with good form
42. Spend an entire day running/walking, for fun
43. Try a massage
44. Pet dolphins with Willa
45. Ride in a hot air balloon
46. Go ice skating
47-51. Have family pictures taken (professionally?)
52. Hold a scavenger hunt for someone
53, 54 Go on a missions trip for church (US and international)
55. Watch sea turtles hatch
56. Make almond milk
57. Cook all the way through a vegan cookbook
58. Visit a cave
59. Have another baby (try to do it naturally, again.)
60. Own a very large dog
61, 62. Read through the entire Bible, twice
63. Own my own Bible
64. Skinny dip
65. Write something that someone else wants to read
66. Own a very small dog
67. Have a large garden
68. Can something from my garden
69. Freeze something from my garden
70. Be completely debt free (including house payment)
71. Volunteer for the Humane Society
72. Work at the polls for a presidential election
73-75. Pay for the next person's coffee
76-78. Take a class on gardening, plants, etc.
79. Own a really nice camera
80. Own a really nice tv
81. Go snowmobiling again
82. Try accupunture
83. Go to an NFL game
84. Go to an NBA game
85. Stand under a waterfall
86. Go canoeing
87. Go tanking with friends
88. See whales in the ocean
89-91. Visit another (big) city's farmers market
92. Wear heels in public
93. Find the perfect lipstick shade (for me)
94. Be blonde again
95. Keep a journal of Willa's childhood
96. Keep a journal of Next Baby's childhood
97. Go on a 10 year anniversary trip with Brad
98. See a gymnastics event
99. Dye a streak of my hair a fun color
100. Learn how to make my blog pretty
101. Visit a well known vegan bakery and try 3 things
102-104. Leave a $100 tip at a restaruant on Christmas Eve
105. Pet an elephant
106. Pet a baby cow
107-157. Donate blood 50 times
158. Do paper mache with Willa
159. Take photos in a photo booth
160. Make (and master) vegan, gluten-free donuts
161. Learn to braid
162-164. Have a spa day
165. Have my palm read
166. Go on a yoga retreat vacation
167. Wear fake eyelashes
168. Have hair extensions
169. Spend a night in a very fancy hotel
170. Stay at a bed and breakfast
171. Stay in a house right on a beach
172. Drink wine that costs more than $50/bottle
173. Order room service
174. Make a pie from scratch
175. Wear a formal gown
176. Own a little black dress
177. Be in the audience of a tv show (like Ellen or Kelly or David Letterman)
178. Go to a movie by myself
179. See a "cirque" show
180. See NOFX again
181-183. Spend at least $100 on a piece of art
184. Try hot yoga
185. Own a motorcycle
186. Visit the capitol building
187. Visit a rain forest in Costa Rica
188. Rent bicycles for a day on a vacation
189. Eat at a really good seafood place
190. Go berry picking
191-193. Visit 3 different apple orchards
194. Go on a well planned picnic
195. Visit Yosemite National Park
196. Be a part of something that raises at least $1,000 for a cause
197. Use solar energy at home
198. Use wind energy at home
199. Own a car that is very fuel efficient
200. Set up an organized recycling center at home
201. Shake the hand of a US president
202. Own a really nice, classic winter coat
203. Own a good pair of snow boots
204. Meet Isa Chandra Moskowitz again
205. Reread the "Anne" series
206. Run a race with Willa
207. Visit the Jocelyn Art Museum
208. Run a race with Brad
209. Hold a really big snake
210-212. Rescue 3 dogs
213. Drink a $50+ bottle of champagne
214. Work with a personal trainer to be comfortable in the weight room of a gym
215. Pay cash to build an addition to our house
216. Pay for and take a trip with my mom
217. Have an outdoor meditation area
218. Have an indoor meditation area
219-221. Have 3 at home slumber parties with Brad and the kid(s) in a fort with movies and junk food
222. Make friendship bracelets with Willa
223-227. Have 5 or more 200+ mile months of running
228. Build up a well organized colleciton of pretty, high quality cards/wrapping paper supplies
229. Set up an allowance system for Willa
230. Build an "Easter" flower bed with tulips, daffodils, hyacinth
231. Makeover front of the house complete with new door, front porch, flower beds
232. Go to a book tour/book signing of an author I love
233-243. Go on 10 litter walks with Willa
244. Grow wild flowers along 14th Street
245-255. Volunteer at Matt Talbot
256. Take Willa to Branced Oak to walk and explore on a mom/Willa day
257. Go to Oregon
258. Place in the top 10 in my age group in the Lincoln Half Marathon (1:35 or under)
259. Visit the Tate Modern
260. Go to a fashion show
261. For one Christmas, shop only local or handmade
262. Join a small group or bible study at church
263. Make towers out of marshmellows and spaghetti
264. Go to the State Fair
265-267. Tour a few Frank Lloyd Wright homes
268. Design/build a plant stand
269. Design/build a coat rack
270. Go one full year without any soda
271. For one full year, run at least one mile every day
272. Have a healthy, productive strawberry patch
273. Research bird feeder/seed types and have feeders to attract cerain birds
274. Build a cute little trailer camper
275. Visit a Farm Sanctuary
276. Start making my own spaghetti sauce
277. Meet The Bloggess

So.  That's what I have so far.  I'm sure I will add to this list frequently.  I'm already working on a few of them, I'm excited to share! I have discovered in the process of sharing my list, that I REALLY have a thing for reading other people's lists.  Maybe that should be number 278.  Spend a day reading other people's dream lists...A whole day.

A snippet of a eulogy

Willa's first Easter

Telling stories at Willa's 2nd birthday party

Willa's 1st birthday, with all of her grandparents and great-grandparents.

70th wedding anniversary

72nd wedding anniversary/ 99th birthday party

These are the words that I shared at my Grandpa Ray's funeral last Tuesday...

My Grandpa Christensen passed away last Friday.  Well, duh, Allison you're probably thinking.  I mean, he was 99 years old!  But I don't think a single one of us who knew and loved him believed it would happen.  I KNOW we weren't ready for it in our hearts.  Wasn't it just last week that he was still fixing sprinklers?  Didn't he just take grandma out dancing, and keep her on the dance floor for every song?  Maybe it was a bit longer ago.  But it WAS just days ago that he still had his sass, his sense of humor and his love for his wife and family.  Grandpa, what you have given to our family is immeasurable.  As an adopted grandchild, I didn't get the priviledge of inheriting your good looks, but I think I can make a pretty solid case for just how important good role models are in learning life lessons.  What I have learned by watching you and grandma has shaped who I am.  Your strong sense of family, appreciation for respect, education, hard work, providing for your family, all while having a good time and truly enjoying life.  Those things are all so important.  Your passion for the things you did, both professionally and as a hobby, that can be rare these days.  We were just reading that as a child during the Depression, your favorite toy was a big spoon for digging. And then you went on to farm and put in underground sprinklers.  That is passion and consistency!  With all of your admirable qualities (and the sassiness) I think what I would like to take and hold in my heart, is your simple faith.  You lived your life in a way that quietly honored God and others, such a good man, showing kindness and compassion.
None of us was ready for this day.  You had 99 wonderful years, we all wanted 99 more.  That's how long it would have taken to prepare for this sadness.  BUT, you always loved a good party, especially if it was for you.  So today, we will celebrate you.  Love you, Grandpa.

And these are the words that my cousin Marty shared:

Just as Grandpa and Grandma were responsible for many very different offspring, there were many sides of him as well. 

He was the man in the green coveralls with the short sleeves. 
The guy asleep in the easy chair.
The farmer out standing in his field.
The young graduate with a fictitious middle initial.
The eligible bachelor who refused to marry until his hair fell out.
The fellow in the bleachers at all the football and basketball games.
The dude in the bright orange Honda full of sprinkler parts.
The dancer cutting a rug with Grandma.
The party animal who liked to stay out late.
The Burger King breakfast crony.
The disappearing man of mystery named Raybo.
The world traveler.
The historian of the family--and a lot of other people's familys, too.
The irascible patient--unless the doctor or nurse was cute.
The sale clerk with a garage full of treasures.
Did I mention the green coveralls with the short sleeves?
The retiree watching The Price Is Right.
The ornery old cuss giving Grandma a hard time.
The sprinkler repairman who made the old ladies swoon. Literally.
The guy at Fonner Park teaching grandkids how to bet on horses.
The storyteller who always had a story to tell.

The husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather, great-great-grandfather, friend.

The reason we're all here today. To remember, and to say goodbye. We love you, Ray Christensen.

Bummered. Big time.

Willa started playing soccer and it is hilarious.  There is always at least one kid on the ground, one kid picking their nose, 4 kids running the wrong direction, someone crying, and 2 kids refusing to play.  So entertaining.  At home, she seems to understand the basic idea of soccer, and of competing with the other team, but as soon as she gets on the field, she kind of just runs around, kicking the ball when it has accidentally been placed right in front of her.  Oh, well.  At this point, I'm just glad she is willing to go!

The thing I am bummed about isn't related to soccer really.  Its just that I emailed the Lincoln Track Club to change my registration from the full marathon to the half.  I was doing pretty well with the training up until I needed to do an 18 and 20 mile run.  And I didn't do them.  I could give you a list of reasons why, but they would sound whiny and generic and make me feel more pathetic than I kind of do right now.  So I won't.  I AM very excited about the half, though.  I think I can shoot for a pretty decent time, maybe taking 10 minutes or so off of my half PR. which is 2:08:40.  I think I am making a smart decision.  I still plan to run the full marathon, for sure.  If I wait for Lincoln, maybe in 2 years.  I spent my night shift last night writing out a sort of "bucket list" for myself, and qualifying for Boston may or may not have been (but probably was) on it.  So I guess it would be best not to butcher my first marathon the way I did my 16 mile run:)  So, if you plan to be a spectator at the marathon on Sunday, look for me in the first 13 miles.  And then look for me later to be drinking margaritas, as Sunday is also Cinco de Mayo.  And, tequila does NOT contain gluten.  But that's a fun story for another day!

Marathon training update

Yes, that is a picture of Willa demonstrating how best to use a blood pressure thingy.  No, it has nothing to do with me running.  I think my ADD is getting worse as I get older.  And also, I don't take pictures of myself running.  (And as a side note: do you guys have the Vine app yet?  Because the video I posted on there of Willa playing doctor that day makes me almost pee my pants every time I watch it.  And she gets so mad...Did she swallow the giant marshmallow?  She needs to barf it...I even laugh when I type it:)  

Back to running.  Let me start by telling you that I am still very much looking forward to the marathon and am still planning to run the full thing.  That being said, I was very mistaken about how exactly that happens.  What I mean is, I really thought in my mind that a person could just run and run and run for any amount of time, but they would just feel tired or slow down significantly.  This is the belief I had after running a few half marathons in the past, and doing a few training runs that were in the 10-13 mile range.  Last weekend, I had a good chunk of time and the schedule called for a 16 mile run.  The weather was perfect.  Cool and a little rainy.  Just right for a few hours worth of running.  The first 10 miles were awesome.  10-13 were very, very slow.  At around 14, my body stopped moving forward.  I stretched a lot and made it go to about 15, and then I walked half a mile.  Then I resumed running till I got back to my car, but I'm pretty sure that "running" was actually slower than the walking.  It hadn't occurred to me that my body could just decide it wouldn't run anymore.  I had made a few vital mistakes.  I think the most major of mistakes was not having anything along on the run to eat or drink.  When I left my house, I hadn't intended to do the full 16 miles, so I didn't take any portable snacks with me, and all I had was a big cup of water.  It would have been really inconvenient to run with a cup and straw.  Duh, Allison.  Pretty sure you are supposed to replenish carbs and electrolytes AT LEAST every 60 minutes during a long run like that.  My second major mistake is that I just plain haven't been running enough.  I have been hitting almost all of the long runs, but almost none of the midweek, shorter runs.  I think that would really help.  So, from here on out, I am going to make sure to run at least 4 times a week, hit the long runs, take along one of the many gu packets I stocked up on and maybe some dates, and ideally have a buddy who will ride a bike to carry my water.  And a banana. And me, when my legs stop working.  

There were a few other minor issues with my 16 mile run.  The first is that I ran on the Mopac Trail, which takes you almost immediately out of town, but you only come across one porta-potty on the trail and it is about 3 miles in.  Whattayado when your big cup of water attacks your bladder half a mile in?  Well, you could tiptoe into a cornfield, only to realize that on the other side of the cornfield is a country club.  Or you could keep on running until you come to a horse trail that is pretty tree-lined and just stop caring what other people think.  The second issue was a tiny spot of underarm chafing.  I wondered just how necessary runner's lube would be.  I got my answer.

And then I went running

Inspirational graffiti on my run:)

I had made a little note to myself in my planner at the beginning of November that if I was going to run the full marathon, I needed to make a training plan.  When I saw that a few weeks ago, I ignored it.  I was "too busy, too tired, too out of shape, too slow, too old".  Some combination of those excuses.  But then this weekend I had some time to myself and a beautiful day, so I decided to go for a run, to assess the situation.  And here is what I have decided...........I am going to register for the full marathon in December when registration opens.  What?!?  Something is wrong with me.  I am suuuuper nervous but at the same time, pretty excited.  Its not like I went out and ran 15 miles this weekend.  I did 6.  At well over 9 minute miles.  The thing that made me decide to take the plunge was how good it felt.  If I hadn't wanted to see the second half of the Husker football game, I could have easily done 10 miles.  And its only November!  Here's the deal with me and running.  Or me and sports for that matter.  I am not coordinated.  I am not competitive.  I am not fast.  Therefore, team sports and I do not mix.  I gave it a shot.  I played softball, soccer, volleyball, and basketball all at some point in my youth.  And I apologize to anyone who had to be on a team with me:) I was told by our family physician when I was young that I had bad knees and would never be a runner.  So I guess I never even really considered sports that I actually may have been able to do, like cross country or track.  I mean, I would not have been good at them, but I could have participated.  But I never even tried.  Then I became a grown up, I guess and needed a stress relieving hobby so I started running.  Its a very cheap hobby, thank goodness!  And I'm also kind of a stubborn grown up, so when I started thinking back about that doctor (maybe some of you remember him.  He had all those marathon posters in his office?) I thought, "I'll show him."  So I ran the Lincoln Half Marathon in 2008 and then again in 2011.  But what I really want to do?  The full marathon.  And then, if my body isn't destroyed by that, someday I would like to do an ultramarathon.  And a trail marathon.  And travel around the country doing marathons.  Ok, I might be getting a little carried away, but you get the idea.
So, I am sharing this on my blog in hopes of giving myself some major accountability.  Like, if you are watching at mile 20 on May 5th and you have waited for over 4 hours and you don't see me, you should give me a major guilt trip.  I am really going to need help from my family if I'm going to do this right.  Like, lots of time to run.  Lots of support to eat as healthy as possible and get as much rest as possible.  We will revisit this topic in a few months, I would suppose.  But for now, I better get to meal and workout planning!

Aaaaand...there went nearly my entire night shift.

A million thank you's to the lovely and talented Nicole at Making It Lovely for sharing this link.  I only made it about a third of the way through the essays tonight, but I will read the rest.  And soon.  I adore election time.  And I have no problem with telling anyone who will listen that I am a left, left, leftie, liberal, hippie, vegetarian, gun-hating, social-contract loving, my-uterus-my-choice, wind energy worshiping, help-the-least-of-those-among-us, health-care/marriage/civil rights/equal pay-for-all, CRAZY PERSON.  Its just how my brain works.  I've tried to make my brain be at least a little bit more moderate, so as not to seem so crazy, but it just can't.  I try not to be too in your face about it out in the real world.  But this is my blog, darn it, so I can be as De-de-de-democratic as I want.  If you have even the slightest inclination, you should check out some of these essays.  Of the ones I read, a few were vulgar, mostly the ones written by comedians.  But most were very intelligent, well written, some very personal explanations as to why the individuals are voting for Barack Obama for a second term.  One of my favorites was #25, written by Colin Meloy of The Decemberists, on the changes that have been made under this presidency that have assisted his family in receiving the therapies needed for their autistic son.  He makes a great point here " regardless of your tax bracket, if you’re parenting a kid with special needs, you need help."  So very, very true.  
Another of my favorites was #34 by author Elizabeth Gilbert on the nature of Barack Obama's character.  Every word of her essay rang true with me.  Sure, there have been other political figures that I have felt confident in voting for.  For pete sake, I may start a Bill Clinton fan club some day.  But, President Obama is the first politician I have felt admiration for, as far as character goes.  His calm, poised demeanor is a breath of fresh air.  His commitment to all classes of people is admirable.  And for me, bottom line, there is a very strong gut feeling about our two candidates.  I have a Facebook friend who worded her feelings about Mitt Romney in a way that made me laugh, but also kind of sums up my feelings toward him..."You know how dogs seem to have a 6th sense about people, well I would bet money that if you put a dog on the presidential debate stage that Romney would be eaten alive..."  Now of course, I don't wish for Mitt to be eaten by anything, but I personally agree with the sentiment:)  May the best candidate win, and in the words of Andrew Sean Greer (essay #5) "Supreme court, supreme court, supreme court!" 

Did getting a tattoo KILL Allison?

Yep, this is it.  The obligatory, apologetic, guilty post about how I haven't posted in sooooo long.  Brace yourself.  It might get whiny.  It might sound like a pity party.  I swear after this post, I will be back to my usual self who is at least 50% more chipper.  I will try to throw in a few pictures of Willa to keep you all reading, cuz I'm tricky like that.

I credit the end of my mid-life-crisis to this tiny friend

Life didn't stop after Willa started school and I got a tattoo, believe it or not!  And it didn't even get particularly more busy but somehow, I let my normal life schedule get the better of me.  Not really for any specific reason, I just took less time to take care of myself I guess.  Not eating quite as well, not working out enough, interspersed with some wacky night shifts at the hospital that I don't normally work and I just kinda lost it.  I had a few grumpy weekends, which extended into grumpy weeks and I nearly freaked out and quit my job at the hospital.  A few times.  Here is the lowdown on my job at Bryan LGH.  I have been a mental health technician on the youth mental health units for over 10 years now.  I LOVE the nature of my job.  There was a long stretch of years there where I would have just plain said "I LOVE my job!" but it has gotten to the point where some of the politics of the organization have made the actual job not as enjoyable.  I don't know enough about the behind-the-scenes of the issues to go into specifics but things have changed there.  I still love the kids.  And my co-workers. About 4 years ago, when my cleaning business started to grow into an actual thing, I changed my schedule slowly from being a full time day shift worker at the hospital, to working part-time, and doing most of my hours at night.  This allows me to have more days free for cleaning, and has allowed for using up a little bit less of my parent's weekday hours watching Willa.  Also, there is a shift differential that makes working nights a little bit more appealing.  I don't dislike working nights, but there is almost no interaction with the patients, which was my favorite part of the job.  And, it leaves me pretty tired sometimes.  Especially on the days when my schedule doesn't allow for me to head straight home and fall into bed.  And even on the days that I do, I think any night shift worker will agree that there is just something not quite as restful about sleeping during the daytime hours.  I must give major props to my family, as they are always super considerate of me when I am sleeping during the day.  Lots of times, Brad will take Willa out and about, just to make it extra quite for me.  Not that she is loud.  No, never:)

Anyhooters, I got a little bit extra tired and overwhelmed and a little bit frustrated with my job, so I almost quit.  Quite honestly, we would probably be ok income-wise without my tiny hospital paychecks, now that I am only part time.  The big kicker is, we get all of our insurance through the hospital, and it is stellar insurance.  Like, we don't ever pay for anything.  Like, when I had Willa I paid about what I would pay for a few new pairs of jeans. (Well, maybe a little bit more than that, but you get the picture.)  There are no insurance options for Brad at Star City.  And I checked into private insurance a little bit, and I just don't think our budget can handle it right now, at lease not if I want a maternity option.  So I had a mini-melt down.  A mini-mid-life-crisis.  I didn't do anything too crazy, like the folks in the movies do.  I didn't run off anywhere tropical with my personal trainer (I don't have one.  If I did, he would have been fired so I could afford insurance:)  I didn't buy a sports car or get a boob job.  (Would rather have a Prius and haven't worked up the nerve yet:)  Instead, I was crabby, whined a lot to Brad and anyone who would listen, and then tried to go to bed earlier.  And guess what?  Things are better now!  Don't get me wrong, I would still love to quit working at the hospital, but for now I think I can stick it out at least till I've had another baby on their rockin' insurance and maybe I've paid off a few more bills.  Build up my 401k.  Have I said before how much I despise some of this grown-up stuff we have to deal with?!?

And if I'm being completely honest, most of the rest of the credit goes to coffee.